Two years ago today

Two years ago today my mom died. I miss her everyday, sometimes more, sometimes less and always for different reasons. Sometimes it will be a coupon that arrives in the mail or a sale at Shoppers; a woman drinking a coffee from Tim Horton's or a glint in my daughter's eye. The reasons, these reminders, almost always find me without warning and still take my breath away.

Today, missing her was expected so the reasons are different, there are a bunch and all of them make me sad. I miss her because I really could have used her help through the last year or so; it makes me sad that Lola will never get to hear all of her grandmother's crazy stories or meet her namesake. I miss her long winded phone call, e-mails, letters, and kisses; though at the time they all drove me crazy. This week the last phone message I had from her was deleted and I'm still dealing with the fact that never again will I hear my mom tell me that she loved me. Mom would have been so proud of my little girl and loved her so much, I think that is what makes what makes me the saddest.

I put together a bunch of mom stories when she first died planning on adding to it, but never got around to it. I have a couple other mom projects that I just can't seem to get myself to finish up, maybe one day...